Bomberman

Dystopian futures have terrible fonts.

Publisher: Hudson Soft
Year: 1987
Genre: Action


Bomberman is a game about a little robot guy who, presumably, lives in a dytopian future where sentient robots are relegated to menial production jobs and all structures are comprised of a combination of bricks and blast doors. Bomberman's deepest wish is to become human, and he heard a rumor that any robot who makes it to the surface becomes human and gets to star in a considerably less fun game. As such, the bomb-making droid sets out on a quest to escape his dull factory existence and kill everyone in his path, a plan that is, frankly, awesome.

"Feel my fiery wrath, orange lightbulb! I *will*
become a real boy someday!"

John's Rating: 2.0 out of 5.0. Playing this game is often a comedy of errors due not only to the scarcity of power-ups, but also to the dull playing fields, touchy bomb placement and ugly graphics. Fortunately, like a surprisingly large number of dull games with one redeeming mechanic, it inspired man fruitful, glorious sequels, all equally filled with that awkward moment where you bomb yourself into a wall.

My God, what have I done?!?