Commando

There will come a day when title screens are
interesting and eye-catching, I promise.

Year: 1986
Publisher: Capcom
Genre: Shmup

While it may well be the first game I have encountered with poor response on the title screen, Commando is a strong proponent of the shmup truism, "You never run out of bullets: just grenades." It's a respectable title as far as top-scrolling walking shmups go, but, as should be expected of the era, brings very little to the table as far as what we modern folk think of as originality (although, for its time, it was probably groundbreaking).

I don't remember which stereotypical army wears
gray uniforms, and it's just as well, 'cause I'm not
in the mood for ethnic jokes.

John's Rating: 2.5 out of 5.0, because it's kinda fun, but not something you can maintain significant interest in - that is to say, it's in the video game "friend zone."